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Parenting

I am not a parent, but I read these words of Emmanuel and thought I would share it with all of you who are parents.

Sent to you at 5. 26 am after a night of little sleep.

Much love,

Moira

Love is the purpose of parenting.

There is the need to teach.

There is the need to comfort, to guide,

but never for one moment must there be

the sense of superiority or separateness.

 

Your children have chosen you

because they kow you.

More often than not

you have been together before

in different family configurations.

 

Communicate clearly with love, honesty,

truth, a willingness to be seen

and with compassion and wisdom

to the best of your capacity

That will best serve

the soul purpose of your children.

 

The only gift that anyone has to give

is the self.

I cannot imagine a more beautiful

beautiful presentation.

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The Wound – Searching for the Mother

In Family constellations we learn that when a child reaches out to the mother and she is not there, for whatever reason,the child experiences an interupted movement and this is both frightening and heart breaking. It is a wound that sets us on the path of searching for the Mother. It impacts all of our relationships and becomes a spiritual quest. That original image of rejection becomes the template for all future relationships until this wound is healed.

The original image of rejection needs to be seen in a wider context that sees the mother in relation to her mother and father and their parents and so on back through the generations. We are seeking to complete the gestalt.

We can travel half way across the universe and still we cannot escape the legacy inherited from our parents. The more we try to run away, the more likely we are to unconsciously remain loyal to them. We either do it just like them or for them.  Can you see this in your own case?

I’m reading Suzi Tucker’s new book “Gathering Enough Fireflies” and appreciating it very much.  I encourage you to read it.

Here are two of my most recent paintings.

Love, Moira

landscape

snow landscape

 

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my paintings, Spirituality

Where do I belong?

Where do I belong? This is the question that came up for me in the early hours of the morning.

I realize that all my life I’ve been looking to find where I belong. In part, or maybe in full, I’ve created separation instead of belonging. Always looking for what is missing.   But I’m beginning to see that nothing is missing. Love is right here all the time. I belong to Love. Love is my true home.

I’m a wandering Jew, looking for home. This is why I’ve been looking for home. Home.

On every level,I’ve been looking for family, community. Questioning. Do I belong to the astrological community? Do I  belong to the Shakti community, the TTC community? The Enneagram community?   To the Family Constellation Community; to all the clients that have ever crossed ny path? To my FAMILY?!

I’ve been dreaming of my sister Lynda. We were back in The Valley road house where we grew up. She walks into her bedroom and disappears. She’s just been talking to mom and dad.   I don’t know what about. I’m still too young to know.

And then I see Richard, my younger brother. He is very sad. He’s crying and I can’t reach him.

When I switched on the light to journal this morning, I was looking for a pen and I was drawn to the photograph of my mother, taken when she was probably in her 30’s. Dearest mom! … And I felt I was seeing her with new eyes. Seeing her soul. Her humour, her impishness, her deep sense of self-love and feeling of being loved. Her jewishness – humour. I’m seeing her light instead of the darkness which life brought her. I don’t see her in her suffering, but in her essence which is shear Joy.

When you make Love you’re home. You’re always home.

I carried within me always a sense of not being loved by my mother because I was a disappointment being born a girl not the wished-for baby boy. So it took her time to love me. She was feeling overwhelmed with two young daughters already. This is the story I made up in my head.  I’ve been attached to this story. But it doesn’t matter now. I know I belong to my family, who love me, even though I only have one living sister left from my family of origin.

I left S.A. I left the jewish community; I left my family. I’m living with Brent and Lucy and Stella. An honourary member of their family. But if I shift my figure-ground, I see that I belong wherever there is Love and this web of Love connects me to everything in the Universe. Love is the glue that holds everything together, including my own very body.

When I don’t value myself, then I don’t feel my sense of belonging. When I love myself with all of my humanness and imperfection then I feel Home.

Thank you God/dess and all the angels and spirit guides for bringing me insight. When I realize we are all just souls seeking to come home and gifting each other with gladness or sadness all for our own learning, I can forgive, accept Life as it is.

The world is perfect in its imperfection. I convey this is my art by accepting my imperfection.

My ailing body is a perfect imperfection for my learning now.

******************************************************

I’ve been making cards and envelopes for my show.  How do like these?

photophoto

 

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State of Grace

Quote from Emmanuel’s book, compiled by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton

There is an overall plan

of which you are not aware

and to which you can only contribute 

by being who you are,

doing your best,

seeking your higher truth, 

and following your heart.

 

This is God’s plan of salvation –

Not only of the soul consciousness

but of the earth itself.

 

The time is coming

When the culmination of eons of effort

Will bring forth rnewed level of light in your planet.

It will still be a schoolroom

That offers a opportunity to choose

Between the negative and positive aspects.

There will however, be more Light

And more awareness of this Light.

There will be a balance where love can flourish,

Where kindness is a power and recognized as such,

Where God can again be placed

In the center of consciousnes of each human being.

 

The state of grace

needs a recipient

in order to be complete.

 

You are held in the hand of God

And totally loved

And when that love can be received

The circuit is completed

*********************************

When one moves closer to the source,

There is a moment

That is difficult to describe in any language.

The receiver bcomes the giver

And the receptacle becomes the sourcee.

 

… and then

the dance of eternity

really begins.

 

 

 

There is an overall plan

of which you are not aware

and to which you can only contribute 

by being who you are,

doing your best,

seeking your higher truth, 

and following your heart.

 

This is God’s plan of salvation –

Not only of the soul consiousnes

BUT OF THE EARTH ITSELF.

 

The time is coming

When the culmination of eons of effort

Will bring forth rnewed level of light in your planet.

 

The time is coming

When the culmination of eons of effort

Will bring forth a renewed level of Light in you planet.

It will still be a schoolroom

That offers a opportunity to choose

Between the negative and positie aspects.

There will however, be more Light

And more awareness of this Light.

There will be a balance where love can flourish,

Where kindness is a power and recognized as suh,

Where God can again be placed

In the center of consciousnes of each human being.

 

The state of grace

Needs a recipient

In order to be complete.

 

You are held in the hand of God

And totally loved

And when that love can be received

The circuit is completed

When one moves closer to the source,

There is a moment

That is difficult to describe in any language.

The receiver bcomes the giver

And the receptacle becomes the sourcee.

 

… and then

the dance of eternity

really begins.

… and then

the dance of eternity

really begins.

 

I slept well last night, though apparently i was screaming in the night.

 

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Stream of Consciousness – Life is a Game. Let’s play

I woke up at 2 a.m. and could not fall asleep again. I decided to listen to music and picked up my ipod. It was already switched on and the tune that was playing was Sandman from Mystery Box. It was perfect. It was all about connecting to the light and knowing that the Universe is benevolent and you can be trusted. I love the synchronicity of it all and then Beethoven –the sound track of Immortal Beloved. He expresses the full range of human emotions and the light always triumphs over the darkness.

The other night, I was spontaneously awakened by the sound of Tibetan chanting on my ipod. I took it to mean that an angel or spirit was sending blessing to me.

I’ve started to reread Emmanuels book.   In the Introduction, Ram Das shares that Emmanuel saw in Ram Das that life is a game to him. He says that we need to play at life. Since we are totally responsible for our reality, we need to dream a good dream. We create our reality with our thoughts. So it is important what we envision because that is what will be mirrored back.

 

I visited Tara, a friend, on Saturday and she, Cathy, my caregiver and I went to Michael’s. We went to get an idea of pricing of the frames for my paintings. They were very expensive. So if anyone knows where I can get framing done cheaply please let me know.

I did three new paintings. Two of them have beautiful spring green colour. See below.

I listened to John O’Donahue. My dear friend Moira (yes, another Moira) gave it to me ages ago and I couldn’t listen to him without getting triggered. Now I can hear what he has to say on the subject of Celtic spirituality. I’m enjoying it very much.

The other wonderful thing that happened is that Wayne and Eric came to visit. We had a wonderful afternoon of deep sharing. I started crying when I recalled how kind Eric was to me that night I had to sleep in Toronto. I felt so loved and cared for. I also talked about Byron and how grateful I am to him. He was the one who called my sister Carol and told her how I was deteriorating and suggested that she come and visit. I could not help myself at that time and neither Brent nor Lucy were able to do more for me then they were already doing.  To be fair, Lucy helped me get a caregiver, and helped cook, shop and physically cared for me, including supplying me with marijuana till we got other help. Brent also arranged for me to get help on the weekend, but he was mostly focussing on my soul. And my soul was in deep trouble. That was why or is why I got so physically sick. I needed to be purified, get out of my victim mentality, and wake up to all my poor judgments, beliefs, decisions attitude and expectations..

Every day before I sit at my alter, I draw two angel cards. It is interesting to me that the angel cards really do express many of the qualities of spirituality.: Freedom, purification, spontanaiety, play, patience, understanding, responsibility, obedience, adventure,release, birth and the blank card which symbolizes Death/rebirth, or Fate.  I need to pay more careful attention to what is coming through the cards. They are communications from the angelic realm.

All the teachers I am reading point to the importance of accepting our humanity because our human frailty is what points us to God’s truth. Fear and darkness are just a reflection of how we distort the light.

Herman Hesse’s character in “Journey” says, “Don’t you see that’s just what life is …a beautiful game?”

Lucinda, I feel I need to thank you for your prayers and spiritual support. And I need to thank my body. It never lies. It is a sacred temple. A sacrament.

Other good news – I have re-opened my practice.  I did a phone session  with a client this week.  It went well, so if anyone else wants a session, you can email me or call me at 705 277 2881.  I’m hoping that before long, I’ll be able to run a constellation group, God willing.  I need to be patient.

And finally, I need to thank all of you who are praying for me. Nothing short of a miracle is happening.

Here’s another quote from Emmanuel:

Your truth is your power.

The truth is the most freeing discovery you can make.

To be free of the fear of death,

To be free of distrust, of limitation,

To be free to be who you really are –

These are the gifts that you will receive

By paying the price of introspection and honesty.

Human life, is a most difficult classroom

Until you learn the simple fact

That your truth is your power,

Your salvation, your fulfillment,

Your purpose and your way.

Once you can truly believe that

Life becomes the joyous and abundant garden

That it is meant to be.

landscape

photo

 

 

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Dealing with Painful Circumstances

Thanks to all of you who reached out to me over the holiday season.  It means so much to me.

Good sleep continues to elude me.  Some nights I only get 2 hours, other nights a bit more.  It’s been a while since I’ve had 6 or 7 hours.  This leaves me feeling exhausted and more shaky.  And I’m still a lot better than I was.

I’m planning an exhibition of my paintings and cards at Lucy’s studio in Toronto as well as the Mother’s Day studio tour in City of Kawartha Lakes.  I’ll keep you posted.

It is freezing cold up here, but extremely beautiful.  Here are some photos taken early this morning.

IMG_2767

IMG_2766

Here’s a quote I read today from Emmanuel’s book that I find very meaningful:

How do we experience painful circumstances without becoming embittered by them?

By seeing them as lessons

and not as retribution.

Trust life, my friends.

However far afield

life seems to take you,

this trip is necessary.

You have come

to traverse a wide terrain of experience i

in order to verify where truth lies

and where your distortion is in that terrain.

You will then be able
to return to your home center,
your soul self,

refreshed and wiser.

 

Whatever satellite goals may be found in life

the singular intent is always

the soul’s process

of becoming one with Self and God.

 

Be comforted

and walk your life in Light and trust

for nothing will come to you

that is not meant to be.

There is nothing that can happen in your life

that in any way threatens your soul.

Indeed, all of life experience

enhances its awareness.

There is nothing that does not serve

the process f your soul’s growth.

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Blessings to all.

 

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Colors

What I love about painting is mixing and combining the beautiful colors. As I struggle to come out of the darkness, color takes on special meaning for me. I noticed that I am drawn to certain colors – gold, purple, blues and greens, magenta, warm yellows and soft pinks also appeal. I was reading Emmanuel’s Book and I found an interesting entry about color.

Here it is.  I hope you enjoy it.

What do human beings look like to you Emmanuel?

When I see a soul, I see Light – crystalline, pure, expanded and very beautiful. When I see a human being, I see that very same soul often cramped, struggling beneath an overlay of various diminishing hues that cause the brilliance to remain entrapped in the more opaque auric qualities. Beneath, of course, is the true Light of God in each soul. When I view you with my love, I see that Light very much as you do when you view each other with love.

Would you like to know the colors of doubt and fear? I will begin at there darkest color, which is denial of god, hate (the absence of love), and that is a very dark blackness. It is illusion, but a deep and dense illusion at times. Fear can be seen not only as the emotion itself, which is a closing down, a greyness, but also when connected to accompanying rage, it can be a scream of most intense and unpleasant sulphurish yellow.

Passion, in whatever manifestation, is various shades of red. Intellect is often yellow, and when it is being used for positive purposes, it is a golden, buttery yellow. When it is used to deny the heart, then it becomes a denser form of the same color.

Green is healing – the healing that is taking place within the body or the longing to heal others, which is often comingled with a soft pink which is love, human love.

Love of God glows white. Silver is communication, speaking. When it is speaking truth, it has brilliance and sparkle. When it is denying truth, or used manipulatively, it becomes steel grey.

Blue is a most radiant beam when it is connected to expanded spirituality, or to the empathetic relationship between human beings. There is also a deeper blue, every bit as clear and beautiful, as it reflects the deep emotions within yourselves when you are in direct and truthful communication with your own inner being.

Lavender, purple, these are colors of spirit. Often, though not necessarily, spirit guides are seen to wear these colors when they first appear to you.

Gold is God’s Love, given to the world through your willingness and your commitment to the works of such a calling.

You are all aware of these things.   I speak to reawaken what each of you experienced in your very earliest days when you saw the colors surrounding the people in your life. They gave you distinct messages before you were able to understand words.

I see you all as rainbows.

nightscape

IMG_2660_2

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