Thanksgiving (Stream of Consciousness)

It’s after 3 0’clock in the morning and I’m unable to sleep for some reason. It may be because I had a bio-com treatment and I’m now detoxing. Who knows. The body is a mystery. But it got me feeling and got me thinking,, and I want to take this opportunity to give thanks because it is Thanksgiving. We should give thanks every day, but this is an opportunity to pay particular attention to the things we are grateful for.

So I’m grateful for my family. Both my biological family and my spiritual family. I want to take this opportunity to thank Lucy and Brent and Stella for weathering this illness with me. I am eternally grateful (tears) . I’m grateful for my caregivers.. I’m grateful for Colleen who has been with me almost since the beginning. (Tears)…, We’ve become friends, we’ve become friends, and we’ve opened our hearts to each other. It took her a little while to trust me but now we’ve built a bond and we have fun together. We’re both Leos and we know how to play. We recently went shopping together in Orillia where I went for a TRE treatment which I’ll tell you about another time. But I want to give thanks to her for supporting me through this ordeal that I’ve been going through – physical and spiritual ordeal. But little by little I’m learning.

I want to give thanks to Nancy who has taken over from my dearest and most helpful friend Anita who is going through her own physical ordeal. But I’ll come to her in a moment. Nancy teaches me about having an iron will, growing a will, an indomitable spirit. She has died twice and come back. She’s had cancer eight times and beaten it. We’re learning from each other and I’m grateful to her for filling in the breach when I lost Anita. There’s a reason for all these things – the people that come into our lives.   So I’m very grateful to Nancy who encourages my independence and supports me at the same time.

And I’m grateful for my dearest Anita who took such good care of me when I needed it. Who helped me gain weight, helped me to heal. She’s so intuitive and she’s so dedicated and I’m so grateful to her for everything she’s done for me. I miss her very much and hope we can work together again. And I’m grateful for her family who is supporting her now as she wrestles with this condition. She is trying to dissolve blockages in her arteries which are 50% blocked. And I wish her well and hope she succeeds so she doesn’t have to go the medical route which is often so invasive.

I’m grateful for the man who owns the wood lot that’s along the fire route in Bethany, On my walks I’ve had the good fortune to wander into that wood, that forest. There is an energy there, a spirit there, and I’m so grateful for that. He’s such a wonderful man and we’ve struck up a friendship. I think his name is Tim, Oh my God I’ve forgotten his name, but he’ll forgive me. I met him and his wife with Anita and Nancy and I met him again. He’s invited me to come into his sanctuary. And I’m so grateful for that.   It’s a connection.   Lulu comes with us. And I’m so grateful for Lulu. She is such a sweet dog. So patient and kind. She’s such a sweetheart who just wants to be loved, just like all of us. And I’m grateful to her. I’m grateful to Nancy and Anita who taught me how to love dogs. How to love lulu. And so does Colleen. All my caregivers love animals and love dogs. All the creatures of this universe. I’m so grateful for the variety and abundance.

I’m so grateful to my parents. I’m so grateful to my father for all he did, for providing me with an inheritance so I can heal myself naturally. (Tears) I’m grateful for Cathy who is in my heart always. I thank her for her kindness. And I thank Byron for his kindness. I don’t know that I would be alive to day if it wasn’t for Byron. He called my sister when I was in trouble because Brent and Lucy and Stella didn’t know what to do. (More tears)   And I’m grateful to all of you who read my blog, who encourage me and support me. My teachers – Suzi, I’m grateful to you for reaching out to me when I was so desperate. I was in despair and you reached out to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I’m grateful for my godchildren.   I want to try to be an example to all of them. (More tears.) I’m grateful to Patrick for taking care of my condominium and the tennants there.

I’m grateful to my healers – Chakib, Enzo, Ravi-Inder, Dr Krop and all his staff – Johanna, Charlene, Wanda, Maria. All my caregivers. All these people who want to serve. There is so much love in the world. I’m grateful to all of you in my community. All of you who’ve reached out to me. Those who are close and those who are not so close. I’m grateful to my clients because the teach me how to love, how to heal my own anxiety. . All of you who’ve reached out to me. – Deni, Bonnie, Sarah, Robyn, Reggie…I want to live a life of integrity and that means total honesty and nakedness.

I’m grateful to Tara who encourages me in my creative expression, and Lucy and Nancy. They all do everybody does. And the one I’m most grateful for is my dearest sister, Carol. Callie I love you so much. I’m so grateful for you. You love me and I love you. Thank you for keeping me in the family.(Many tears). Thank you, thank you everyone. Thank you God, thank you Divine Mother. Thank you Lucinda, you teach me about prayer. You teach me how to listen to my body. You’ve been a mentor to me on this path that I am walking. Alone and together. God bless you all. Goddess bless us all, Bless us all. Help us Lord.

Oh my God I am here,

Oh my God You are here,

Oh my God we are here,

And always, always you love us.We are held in the arms of the Divine. The benevolent Divine that is teaching me. Thank you for this illness. It is opening my heart and bringing me home.

AMEN